Showing posts with label adventure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adventure. Show all posts

Sunday, March 31, 2019

I Know Where I'm Going... Just Don't Know Exactly How To Get There


“I know where I’m going... I just don’t know exactly how to get there”... said our Argentinian guide, Diego while reviewing maps with me the night before we kicked off our 4 day trek through a ridiculously remote zone in Patagonia.
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Isn’t that just the case?
Poignant as hell.
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At some point most of us figure out what it is we are shooting for in life with regards to work, play & love... the challenging aspect is determining how to arrive there.
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I know one thing for sure... in order to find that place you’re looking for, you are guaranteed to get lost in the thick forest and have to machete your way through the density.
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Then, after the struggle and work pay off and you arrive, you realize that it was in fact that arduous journey that you were seeking all along. The battle is what you were craving. Because it’s the battle that defines us... not the end result.

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Everest By Air




“Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”
Steven Covey







As I peered out the front window of the helicopter, I could see the bank of clouds powering up the valley right towards us with the look of a massive oceanic wave. A wall of thick, white whip cream that contained enough energy to drop a helicopter out of the sky. The weather in the Himalaya was notoriously fickle. Within minutes I have seen it go from perfect blue bird, T-shirt weather to batten down the hatches, put on every stitch of clothing you have and hang on weather. What I saw coming towards us sure had the look of a game changer. 

Our position at Everest Basecamp (17,200ft) was precarious at best… but absolutely necessary. The young Sherpa climber in the back of the helicopter next to me was waxing in and out of consciousness. He would come to, clutch at his chest, flail about for a minute, and then collapse back into unconsciousness. I was fairly certain that he was suffering from a condition called Prinzmetal Angina. This condition is when the coronary arteries spasm from stress, exertion or other factors. It’s technically not a heart attack, but it sure feels like it to the patient and looks like it to the bystanders.

As I was crouching in the back of the helicopter caring for the young Sherpa, his friends, brothers and cousins all anxiously spectated from just outside the machine, each with deep looks of concern stretched across their sunburnt faces. I’m sure they were confused as to why their otherwise healthy colleague was apparently dying right in front of them. They also seemed to understand the urgent nature of the situation and the need to get him down to a lower altitude promptly and how challenging that seemed due to the imposing weather barreling down on us. 

The weather was shutting down quickly and the patient was deteriorating just as quickly. 

The chaos wheel was spinning pretty fast at this moment and I had a sense that things were going to get worse before they got better.  

*

Six months prior, I received one of those “friend of a friend” calls.  My buddy explained to me that an acquaintance of his was part of a consortium of folks trying to put together the first ever Search and Rescue team to operate on and around the flanks of Mt Everest. They had the budget. They had the Sherpas. They had the helicopters. Only thing they needed was a medic. This medic would have a fairly specific skill set of experiences… great familiarity with Everest and it’s flanks, well versed in altitude medicine and a strong relationship with Nepal and the Nepali people. Oh, and also, this medic would need to be OK with flying around in a helicopter in the largest and most daunting mountain range in the world in ever changing weather conditions all the while working on critically ill and injured patients. 

Check. Check. Check. Check.
What could go wrong?
I’m in.

It’s become a fairly typical routine for me over the years… get an invite for some random, daunting project… deeply consider the consequences for a total of perhaps 2 minutes and then sign up. I’m not sure whether that’s admirable or reckless. Either way, it’s this approach that regularly slaps me down right in the middle of some fairly sticky situations. Perhaps one of the strategies I have incidentally stumbled upon is that if I quickly sign on to a challenging objective, I will then be absolutely forced to immediately take the deep dive into the preparation phase prior to putting feet on the ground.  Agree to go… then worry about all the training and prep after the plane tickets are bought.

Now I had spent over a dozen seasons climbing and trekking in the Himalayas… and I had spent several seasons working Search and Rescue on Denali in Alaska… but flying around plucking sick and dying people from precarious positions throughout the biggest mountain range in the world… that makes for a spicy recipe.

I spent the better part of three months prior to departure honing the skills and knowledge base that I would have to pull from during the rescue season operating in the back of a helicopter. 

I went to my Emergency Department and practiced intubating and starting IVs on a mannequin straddled on a stretcher while a friend shook the stretcher back and forth to duplicate the feel of a bumpy helicopter ride. That scene garnered some laughs from colleagues as they passed by the training room. 

I poured over maps and reached out to many of the guide services that would be guiding clients on Everest that season, inquiring about their climbing schedules and guides. I established relationships with the hospitals in Lukla and Kathmandu where we would be transferring critical patients. I did as much on my end as I possibly could so that when the shit hit the fan, I would be the best version of me as possible. 

All of that being said… there would be plenty of elements that would be completely out of my control.

It’s fairly common knowledge that helicopters are an effective method of transportation, especially in the ‘runway limited’ Khumbu Valley of the Everest region. It’s also fairly common knowledge that helicopters occasionally fall out of the sky. Especially with the fickle and powerfully changing wind and weather patterns of the Valley. Storms come out of nowhere and when they hit, they are ferocious, slapping everything around with complete disregard.

Including hovering aircraft.

I was quite aware of these topics when I boarded my international flight for Kathmandu. I squeezed my wife and kid tightly before I left, all of us acutely aware that the unthinkable was a stark reality. One of the helicopter pilots I had flown with in Nepal during the earthquake medical mission had just recently crashed into the side of a mountain killing everyone in the aircraft. My military friends had lost plenty of brothers in helicopter crashes. Turns out, helicopters crash. 

I promised them that I would do my job the best I could. I promised them I would be very situationally aware and not take any unmanageable risks. I promised them I would assess every situation and limit the amount of exposure to danger… as best I could.

And therein lies the tricky part. 

What might seem like a risk for one person might be a lot more manageable for someone else. My wife and I have slightlydifferent levels of acceptable risk. I made my promise to those I love the most with my optic of risk management as my measure. My wife and I were quite aware that flying in the helicopter would be an integral part of this mission and that this element would be 100% out of my control. We feel better when we are in control, that much is certain. But in order for a team to run at its optimum and most efficient gear, there needs to be a level of trust in the process. An understanding that each of has a particular job and if our rope team is constructed, developed and nurtured with compassion and attention to detail, the ability to give our teammates the breadth to operate objectively will be part of the successful executed process.


*

The young Sherpa sat up straight in the back of the helicopter, clasped at his chest and let out an agonal cry. The benzodiazepine syringe that I was holding in my hand dropped onto the cockpit floor as his arm swung around wildly. I located the syringe and with the help of my Sherpa team, got his jacket sleeve pulled back to expose his deltoid. Only a couple minutes after the jab, the Valium appeared to start to lessen the frequency of his painful attacks. All the while, my pilot Andrew was providing me up to the minute weather reports from the front seat, most of which were bleak as the cloudbank surrounding the bird showed no indication of abating. Our flight path from Basecamp would require us to lift off from the 17,200ft landing pad and make our way down valley in between the gargantuan walls of Nuptse, Pumori, Lobuche and Cholatse. The flying is precise and being able to visually identify the flanks of these beasts was critical. I could hear the slight concern in Andrews voice as he communicated back to me over our headsets. He knew the kid was in grave condition and needed to get down to lower elevations and he knew that our jet-A fuel was dwindling. He was also acutely aware of the ‘rule of the rescuer’… do not put the aircraft or its occupants in undue danger.

Suddenly Andrew called over to me on the headset, “Doc, I see a hole and am going to see if I can get us out of here.”

“We are packaged up back here ready to fly when you are”, I replied.

Ten seconds later I could hear the rotors start to spin with a more furious pace and the turbo began to whine in anticipation of lift off. I reached over and clipped the patient and myself into a couple of the cockpit eyebolts… the only option for security since we always remove the backseat when flying at extreme altitudes to cut down on weight. I felt the helicopter strain to lift up in the thin air and the nose start to point down valley. Although I was facing backwards toward the patient, I took a glance over my shoulder out the front of the helo and saw nothing but dense white. Andrew had made the judgment call and although I could not make sense of how we were going to find our way through the clouds, I was confident in my teammate and his decision making and piloting skills.

After a couple minutes of slow, tense creeping down the valley, Andrew spotted a patch of clear sky and shot right towards it. That clear air took us down to another spot of clear air and another and another until we were down somewhere around the 14,000ft mark with nothing but clear skies out the front window. We made our way to the Lukla hospital and within a few minutes after landing, we had the patient on a bed, hooked up to a monitor with a team of Docs and Nurses working to get him stabilized. He would live to climb another day.

*

When a distress call would statically come over our radios, several dozen variants would come into play immediately. Current weather, forecasted weather, current helicopter position, position of patient, condition of patient, potential landing zone and on and on and on. Although I would contribute to each mission discussion with the pilots, the director of operations and the Sherpas on the ground, my job was to be the medic. Not the pilot (he had his job). Not the Sherpa (he had his job). My job was very specific and had enough of its own critical decision making moments that I could not spend critical bandwidth contemplating the nuances of my colleague’s responsibilities. An effective team relies on the profound trust each member bestows on the others to do their job. Working on high-level teams with many moving parts requires each individual to empower those around you to optimize their performance so that you can effectively focus on your own objective.

*

A week after the Basecamp rescue of the young Sherpa, the morning of May 6th dawned. The heart of the Spring Himalayan climbing season was starting to kick off. Teams were all moving and shaking up their respective mountains in order to be in position for a summit attempt when the jet stream lifted around the end of the month. Knowing this would be a busy time window, our SAR team remained vigilant for the pending distress calls from Everest as well as the proximal climbing peaks in the region. Sometime in the late afternoon we received a call that a Spanish climber was close to death at Camp 2 on an 8,000-meter mountain called Makalu. This beautiful but daunting mountain was a solid hour flight from our HQ over a very high mountain pass. Due to the limited daylight remaining, our options were limited to monitoring the situation and check back in the next morning with the hope that the weather was adequate to fly and make an attempt at retrieving the climber.

I woke on the morning of the 7thand with all of the tension surrounding the pending rescue, forgot that it was my birthday. Our SAR headquarters in Lukla (9,600ft) was socked in with a thick layer of cloud cover and a threat of rain. Our inquiries up the valley where our flight path would take us towards Makalu also came back with patchy clouds and variable wind gusts. Not exactly optimum bird flying weather. The status report we received that morning on the Spaniard was that he was in and out of consciousness and only moderately coherent when he was awake. The folks taking care of him relayed to us that basically he would be dead by days end if not evacuated.

Anyone that has ever worked Search and Rescue would tell you that the first order of business is to never put the rescuer in a compromised position, by doing so, potentially adding to the casualty count. But this is the conundrum of working to save our fellow human beings… by pulling people out of deadly and tenuous situations; the rescuer is by default placing him or herself in potentially harrowing scenarios. What does that risk vs. reward equation look like? 

I stood on the heliport in Lukla discussing weather and options with Captain Nischal KC, the helicopter pilot I was working with that week. He was a seasoned and gifted Nepali pilot that had logged thousands of hours flying all over the Himalaya as well as Europe and North America. The week before, in a display of skill and absolute megaballs, he landed his helicopter in the middle of the Everest icefall in order to rescue an injured climber. No pilot had ever even imagined landing a helicopter in one of the most volatile pieces of terrain on the planet. So clearly I trusted Nischal’s decision making with regards to “go” or “no go”.

Our discussion was based on available collected data. Then all of the data was weighted accordingly. We considered all of the pressing variables: the clock was ticking on this guy… another few hours and he’d be dead. The clouds were thick up valley and behind those clouds were very large, immovable mountains. Unlike an airplane that can operate on instruments alone, visibility is paramount with a helicopter.

Our decision to go or not go was very collaborative. We both asked questions of the other. We were transparent and honest in the assessments we provided from a medical and aeronautical perspective. We had to both be all in to make it a go.

After much deliberation, it was decided that we would, at the least, take off and head up valley with the caveat that if we encountered a situation where the soup got too thick, we would bail and return home. 

Out of Lukla, the going wasn’t too bad… with the cloud bank hanging high in the valley there was a fairly clear path down deep between the cavernous mountain walls.  It was when we crested over the hill into the small village of Chukhung that things got a little spicy. The wind gusts began hitting the aircraft like a rattling Mike Tyson punch, lifting and rolling us back and forth. I could feel my stomach lurch up into my chest like similar to that feeling you get on a super turbulent airplane flight… only by an order of magnitude. The cloud cover thickened to the point where Captain Nischal had to move along at a very pedestrian pace, connecting the dots of clear air.

“It’s just a game of connect the dots” I said.

Nischal replied with a spry, “Yep, connect the sucker holes… with consequences.”

As we continued to fly up the valley gaining altitude, the intermittent flashes of brown terrain below us gave way to snow and then, with a full dramatic entrance, the massive glaciated face of Imja Tse filled the entire window of the cockpit. Fluted ridges dropping thousands of feet from the summit, cresting over massive hanging glaciers… all just a few hundred feet from our helicopter. It almost felt like we could reach out and touch the wall.

Nischal made a deft turn to the left to steer us away from the wall as the sky opened up before us. Just as the bird tilted to the left, Nischal’s GPS iPad that was attached to the front window via suction cup, popped off and clattered onto the cockpit floor and to make matters worse, slid up under his seat.

Now, it’s dangerous enough when this happens while you’re driving down the road in your car; but dropping your handheld device under the seat while you are flying a helicopter at 19,000ft surrounded by Himalayan giants is fairly unsettling. With the collected calm of a seasoned pilot, Nischal worked the yaw peddles and the cyclic stick gently while fishing around under his seat with his right hand… a smile across his face.
“Ah ha!” he blurted as his right arm came up from below with the wayward iPad in hand.

I gave out a weak and ever so slightly concerned, “Oh good.”

“Doc, can you hold this for me so I can see where to go?”

As I held the GPS for the Captain to peer over at intermittently, I could see that up ahead another cloudbank blocked what looked to be our intended path. Nischal clearly took note as well as I felt the bird tilt to the left again. We began climbing even higher now, attempting to find a clear route over the pass and over to the Makalu valley. I could see on the GPS that we had just crested over 21,000ft, tinkering close to the high altitude range of this powerful Astar B3 machine. The thwap of the rotors took on that familiar deep sound as they tried hard to dig into the anemic air.

Then Everest came into view, commanding the skyline… her beauty and majesty belying her ferocity and deadliness. Nischal leaned the copter in her direction and then it appeared; a low cut in the ridgeline with clear air. The Captain aimed the bird over in that direction and I felt myself take in a breath and hold it as we crested over the 21,200ft ridge and quickly dropped down into the clear valley below. 

The flanks of Makalu came into view as we rounded a corner and then, up in the foreground, what I assumed was Camp 2. As we approached we could see dozens of individuals on the ground frantically waving their arms in our direction. Looks like we found our guy.

Nischal gently set the helicopter down on the rocky landing zone and I quickly hopped out to assess the patient. His name was Jesus… yep, Jesus… and he was, as advertised, barely conscious. With the help of a dozen Sherpas, we loaded Jesus into the back of the seatless helicopter cabin and I buckled us both in for what I anticipated to be a fun reverse of the trip in.

Jesus perked up a bit when I started speaking to him in Spanish. He was coherent enough to understand me as I detailed what was about to happen. The flight path, the medicines I was about to administer, the hospital that we would reach in Lukla. He voiced understanding as we continued to gain elevation towards the daunting ridge ahead.

Nischal again repeated the flight path and dropped us down the other side, connecting the dots along the way eventually dropping us down at the Lukla hospital landing zone. Jesus perked up quickly with the sudden drop in elevation and began conversing with me in Spanish, telling me about his family and how this near death event would surely be the end of his climbing career. He was effusive with his gratitude for us and the effort we made to come retrieve him. He was keenly aware of the precarious nature of his condition and subsequent rescue.

I still hear from Jesus on a regular basis as he sends me seasonal photos of him back in Spain with his parents and siblings. 

*

Over the course of my two-month search and rescue stint, every single day was filled with dozens of fluctuating variables, any one of which could be the singular reason a life was lost. It seemed that every day provided a new rescue scenario that carried with it a myriad of mind numbing, mutating factors. Current weather, forecasted weather, current position of ground team, current position of helicopter, current position of the patient, jet A refuel options… and those were just the basics. Then the nuanced dynamics came into play… operational altitude, potential weight of helicopter with pilot/patient/medic, air density changes, snow conditions at landing zone, communications, etc, etc., in addition to patient diagnosis and treatment. Enough to make your head spin.

It’s easy for any of us to become overwhelmed with how so many variables can coalesce and conspire against our best intentions. At times it appears as if each speed bump on our path builds on the previous one until you have what feels like an insurmountable hill of dirt problems. 

In each of our rescue maneuvers that season, I had to calmly but efficiently work through an operational algorithm in my own head… focusing on the decisions that I was directly responsible for, communicating efficiently and effectively with my teammates, and then trusting them to manage their responsibilities; all the while understanding that some of the factors where simply out of our direct control. It was and always will be a matter of applying my bandwidth into the issues that are mine to manage and believing in my teammates that they will perform their tasks effectively.

Rarely a day passes that I don’t reflect on our rescue season in the Himalayas. I think of the patients we rescued: the matriarch grandmother of a small village that broke her back falling 20ft out of a tree. The young Tamang boy that we air lifted from a small village that had an undiagnosed bowel obstruction. The Indian woman that our Sherpas evacuated by sled down from 26,000ft. And of course, Jesus. But mostly I think fondly about my team of Sherpas and pilots who all were dedicated to their jobs and specific skill sets. Two months filled with close to forty rescues, filled with quick decisions, collaborative teamwork, complete with plenty of tense and awe inspiring adventures.

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Teamwork Carry To The Top

Last Sunday was a gift and a privilege. The kind of day that underscores the beauty of a group of individuals coming together to help their fellow human being achieve something big.
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@nerissa_cannon joined a @nobarriersusa event this summer, came away fired up and decided she wanted to climb a Colorado 14er. She was keenly aware that as a high functioning para, she would need to put out a rally cry for a team of folks to help her.
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The community answered her request in full force.
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21 of us showed up predawn last Sunday at the Mt Beirstadt trailhead and over the next 9 hours we assisted Nerissa as she worked her modified off-road chair by pushing, pulling and carrying her and her chair all the way to the summit and back down to cold beers.
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There was laughter, frustration, joy, tears, fatigue, pride, resiliency... all the good ingredients of a solid adventure.
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The most beautiful things take place when we embark on a mission that is uniquely directed at helping someone else achieve their dream.
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Thank you @nerissa_cannon for the opportunity to spend the day with you. What’s next?
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Also proud of @sheepdog_05 who put every bit of his 95lb frame into this mission.
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#beofservice #servantleadership #mountains #mountain #ability #leanintoit #dream #teamwork #teamworkmakesthedreamwork #getoutside #coloRADo #colorado14ers #travel #climbing #climber

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Being of Service On The Front Line


Tough to know where to begin.
I'll start with stating this has been potentially the most intense week of my life. And those that know me understand the magnitude of that statement.
I can provide the synopsis here. It will take months to process and effectively document the experience and all that came with it.
As I commented at the beginning of the week, we moved up towards the front line as the Iraqi Special Forces continued to push ISIL back. We were told we would be as close as possible to the fighting but still have at least a 2km buffer. Although this is short of organizational policy of 5km, our team unanimously agreed to accept the implied danger. For reference, US military trauma units are mandated to be 15km from front line conflict.

We settled into our house and established our trauma bay across the street in a garage bay. The mortars and small arms fire were now over our heads and the house and ground would regularly shake with the larger explosions. Not 10 minutes would pass without gunfire or explosions. 24 hours a day.

We were surrounded by Iraqi special forces with humvees blocking each entrance to the road in front of our house/clinic. The neighborhood was mostly evacuated. The General of the ERB group posted up on our same block. We felt vulnerable but relatively safe.

The volume of critical patients was steady. We treated dozens. Most were salvageable. Occasionally we took cover in a subterranean reinforced basement as debris rained down on our tin roof.

Then yesterday happened.
The exodus of displaced locals began. Thousands of Iraqi civilians began filing down the street just 100 meters away from our clinic. Many of them needing care but all posing a security threat to us and our location. The security team did their best screening critical civilians and sending the rest down the road to some unknown location. The tension level went up as civilians were delivered to our trauma bay on wooden carts and broken wheelchairs. 

Right out of the gate we lost a civilian little girl... the absolute barbarism shook us all up.
Then we got a save on a civilian with extreme mortal injuries. Without providing details, he was hanging on... and out. But we stabilized him, packaged him and he will live.

Then it began.
The front line began to pulse back towards us. A mortar landed in the yard next to us which we would later come to find out was a locator.
We had been outed.
Someone, we are unable to confirm who... most likely a civilian passing by or glassing us from close by, passed our location on to ISIL and they began targeting us directly. The mortars started dropping in... each one closer. They had a bead on us and would have loved nothing more than to take out a group of Americans caring for their enemy.
The big one hit on the sidewalk just outside the gate to our house. One of our paramedics caught a piece of debris in the back of the leg. We took cover. 30 seconds later our security team carried in the soldier that was posted in front of our gate. He was lifeless.
Our team moved quickly on to him as heavy fire rained around. We decompressed his chest, threw lines in him and I placed a chest tube, which immediately improved his situation.
Two of our medics loaded him into the ambulance with blown out windows and screamed out of our location to a military OR. We all retreated to the basement and held tight as the mortars landed in our yard.

2 hours later we evacuated in the blown out ambulances and returned to our first location well out of mortar range. We built a little fire in the yard and sunk down as the adrenaline oozed away.

Prior to finally laying down around 11pm we set up 3 beds and our trauma rolls... thankfully.
We were awakened at 3:30 this morning. A massive IED had gone off a couple miles from our forward house. Eight ERB soldiers were killed. We began receiving ambulances in succession. Several amputations and shrapnel wounds. All will live.

I tried to go back to sleep a  couple hours ago but it's useless. Tough to slow down the mind at this point.

We will re establish our trauma bay at a new location tomorrow. Further back. The new team arrives Sunday. We will set them up for success. I go home on Monday. And I will rest.

I am honored to have served with this team. So talented and committed. An absolute privilege.

Hug your loved ones. Be compassionate. Be generous. The world needs more of that.

Addendum.... just got word they caught the local guy that was calling in the mortar strikes to ISIS. Dude lived 3 houses down from our house and was releasing pigeons to alert the ISIS mortars to our exact position.
He is in custody now in our former side yard. I saw a photo of him. He has a bag over his head. I am told he will be dealt with accordingly. That makes me happy.

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Flyboys Keeping Me Safe...

Leading up to my departure for Nepal a couple months ago, I spent many waking AND sleeping hours considering the safety of the mission I was signing up for. I would be flying within the most magnificent and daunting mountain range in the world, conducting the highest and some of the most complex alpine rescue operations in history and doing it all in a helicopter with complete strangers. 
What could go wrong?
Well, I have to admit I lost a little sleep and probably sprouted a few more gray whiskers dwelling on an issue that was out of my hands. Just another affirmation that it is an absolute waste of time and energy to fret over issues that are beyond your control. 
I quickly eased into the helicopter lifestyle over the first couple weeks. The first ten flights or so I would grit down on the bumpier rides as the headwind would throw the bird around and up and down. Two months later it wouldn't even occur to me we were in the middle of bumpy ride as I was chatting and laughing with the pilot... until I took a look over at the passenger who would be fully gripped, clinging to a handle. 
The skills these men possess are extraordinary. To them it's like driving a sports car on the Audubon. Precision and skill... balanced with a centered calm. 
They handle themselves with the utmost professionalism and take courage and bravery to the next level. Their mission is to be of service and I have been honored to work with each one of them.
I flew 84 flights in 5 different helicopters with 6 pilots. Landed on just about every helipad in the Khumbu Valley. Landed at Everest Basecamp maybe 30 times... lost track. Landed at Everest Camp 1, three times and Camp 2, four times. Landed in bluebird weather as well as 30mph winds and sideways snow.
My life was in their hands everyday and they are sending me home intact. 
Thank you and Namaste gentlemen. Let's do it again next year. 
Thanks to Capt Andrew, Capt Chris, Capt Nischal, Capt Deepak, Capt Kiran and Capt Dave. 

These Mountains Shook A Year Ago

These mountains shook a year ago today. And they shook hard. 
Just like everyone else, I woke to images of frightened Nepali men, women and children screaming and fleeing from devastating rubble and tragedy. The depth of the tragedy was still too fresh to appreciate but it was clear... this was an immense national disaster that would need solid international support to recover from. The people of Nepal, that I cared so deeply for, needed help. 
For the next week I tapped into every resource in my Rolodex trying to find a medical team that had a mission that matched my desired intentions... to serve the countryside of Nepal. It was clear that plenty of assistance was flooding into KTM and the Khumbu Valley. I was more concerned with the rural areas that weren't on the major trekking routes. The village clusters that have to walk miles for even the most basic medical attention. Those same villages build their homes by simply stacking rocks and mud with the occasional bag of mortar mixed in. These are the homes that crumble with major seismographic events. This is where medical assistance was needed and this is where I wanted to go.
MB says I paced around like a caged lion that week, waiting to connect with the right team that had an open slot.
As good networks do, mine provided me my wish. I was ultimately connected to a non profit called @nycmedics. Our light and fast team of docs, PAs, RNs and medics identified the most remote, most effected regions we could and we flew in.
In the month on the ground we treated close to 800 patients as tremor after tremor shook us.
A year later I'm back in Nepal working search and rescue in the trekker/climber saturated Khumbu Valley. But my thoughts are with the beautiful villagers of Langerchet and Towal. I wonder how they are a year later. I hope they are happy and healthy. And I hope the ground is stable underneath them.
‪#‎nepalearthquake‬ ‪#‎nepalnow‬ ‪#‎beofservice‬

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Never Say Never...

"I will never step foot on this mountain again." 
I said that the minute I exited the icefall for the final time down from the summit of Everest in 2001. We had just spent two and a half months climbing that mountain. Along with an extraordinary team of amazing fellas we had just stood on top of the world with Erik (Superblind) Weihenmayer.
I felt like we were gifted a window to pass through the gauntlet of challenges that Everest provides. We got lucky.

This was well before Everest turned in to the shit show it currently is. Before it was so heavily commercialized. Before there were fights on the mountain. Before major motion pictures were made of it.
There were only 150 climbers that year... now, 15 years later, there will be close to 800 climbers slogging up this season. All of this in spite of, and perhaps because of, the massive tragedies that have taken place the past 2 years. In fact more want their shot at the summit than ever before.
A few of them will have the experience and qualifications to step foot on the mountain. Many will not. There will be folks that will get in trouble. Big trouble. And although I'm a huge proponent of self accountability in the mountains... some will deserve help. 
So... in spite of claiming to never do so... I'm headed back to Everest.
Not to climb it. But to do what I am better suited for. To help people in need.
I have agreed to be the chief medic for a helicopter based Search and Rescue team operating on the mountain. I will be working ever so closely with 2 bad ass pilots; conducting daily SAR missions on Everest as well as surrounding peaks.
It's a 2 month commitment which will take me away from my family for way too long. My heart hurts with the thought of being away from MB and Jace that long.
But I feel the pull. The pull of adventure. The draw of the Himal. The wish to be of service to humans in need. 
I'll depart the first of April... back on May 31. My intention is to provide field posts, anecdotal stories and photos on my Facebook, Instagram and Twitter feeds.
So much for never stepping on this mountain again.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Sometimes a 60ft Barrier Is Stronger Than What’s Inside You


I felt the joy drain out of my body as soon as we rounded the wall and I laid eyes on it. Suddenly, reaching the summit with our 2015 No Barriers Warriors to Summits team seemed painfully out of reach.

Josh, Margaux and I had departed the team’s high camp earlier in the morning to scout the upper section of the route for our summit attempt the next day on Gannett Peak.  The previous day had been spent eyeballin the upper crux of the route, a left slanting couloir that appeared from a thousand feet below to have an anemic amount of shitty ice protecting it’s access. Even from our camp perspective we were skeptical of the upper flank conditions.  If that ramp of ice wasn’t safe to climb, the summit would be unattainable.

Gannett Peak is about as remote of a worthy climbing objective as any in the lower 48 States. Our team of 10 veterans, 5 guides and 2 photojournalists spent the better part of 5 days trekking deep into the Wind River Range of Wyoming, passing through some of the most breathtaking alpine terrain I have ever laid eyes on. Every one of the 26 miles of the approach were well-earned… not the least of which was the final mile leading into our high camp.  The “boulder field” was a linear mile of uninterrupted, VW Bug sized boulders that had the look of middle earth meets the album cover of Houses of the Holy. Our 2 amputees and 1 super-blind dude got their money’s worth climbing up, over and down each of the hundreds of massive rocks.

But in spite of all the fireball terrain and big-ass boulders, we arrived as a complete team into our high camp…. tired but satisfied and excited about what lay ahead.  All the lead up work had been done. Training was complete. The long approach was behind us. Only thing left to do was power through a solid summit day and stand on top of our objective.

That being said, my concern for route conditions grew deeper with each glance I stole of the upper route. As the sun cast down on the upper snowfield, the reflection off the snow mirrored a sheer face of what appeared to be very old, desiccated ice with a potentially broken up snow bridge leading to the climbable ice. The inexperienced eye would see it as shimmering beauty, beckoning for boots and traffic. But those of us with dozens of years climbing in variable alpine conditions knew better. We knew that weeks of higher than average temperatures would have melted the seasonal snow away, leaving only the thousands-of-years-old ice exposed. This is the kind of ice that is hard, crumbly and tough to protect. It’s the kind of ice that a few of the leadership team could handle with some minor effort… but the thought of putting our 10 participants on this terrain made my hands sweat and my spidey senses tingle.

Each of our hard charging participants have proven themselves competent and experienced in the theater of war… but their alpine climbing training consisted exclusively of our 3 training trips we had facilitated over the previous 4 months.

Not a lot.

Remember, our goal all along with No Barriers Warriors is not to make these men and women mountain climbers. Our mission is to provide them with a transformational experience that uses the mountains and rivers as a backdrop. Even from a half mile away I knew it would be tough to get everyone up and down that section of mountain safely and efficiently.

It was clear that we had to go up and lay eyes and feet on the route. As the expedition leader I knew that the ultimate “go or no-go” decision rested firmly on my shoulders, so I would need to go.  So on the morning of our “rest day” Josh, Margaux and myself departed high camp to go explore the upper reaches of the mountain.

Fun… just straight up fun. The climbing was complete with low 5th class scrambling, glacial traverses, low angle snow climbing and splitter blue-sky conditions. We had a blast over the course of a few hours gaining an upper position. We rounded the corner of the “gooseneck” headwall and finally got close and personal with the upper couloir.

Shit.

The first obvious eye catcher was the 20ft deep, sunken bergschrund that separated the upper ice from the lower glacier. Bergschrunds are the features that form as the ice that is pasted to the steeper flanks of the mountain separate from the lower angle glaciers. Often times there is a snow bridge that exists that provides easy access on to the upper slopes. The same little snow bridge that existed when Charlie and Josh reconned the route 2 months prior still was in place. But now it was a sad little 1ft thick, droopy, unsafe marshmallow.

Well OK, we can get over that. Will take some work to get everyone over and back across that thing… but we can do it.

Then we looked up.

Above the gap we could now clearly see the condition of the ice that protected the summit ridge. Just as I had guessed...stretching from side to side of the couloir was 60ft of glistening, boilerplate hard, 10,000-year-old ice. Dripping water cascaded down its face. Once again I thought of a handful of ways we could get our crew up that section of ice but I continued to stalemate on how we would safely get everyone down this terrain.

But damnit…we knew that if we could just get by that 60ft of terrain we would have a fairly cruiser ridgeline all the way up to the summit.

Might as well have been made of 2ft thick glass.

I sat deflated as I contemplated alternatives. Each one ended in the same comment, “We might be able to get em up that way but there is no way to get them down that same section safely.”
In typical Josh fashion, the 27 year old ex SEAL continued to suggest multiple alternatives…. the best of which was climbing around the ice… “maybe we can circumvent the entire headwall. Let’s go check it out.” An hour later and some fun rock-block scrambling lead us to the edge of the headwall… and a 1,000ft sheer cliff.

No go.

Down we went… occasionally blasting out a “Fuck!!!!!” with disappointment. We had worked so hard to get here as a team and we would be going home without a summit.
Back through the sweet terrain and into camp to join up with the rest of the team. Ultimately to tell them that their much desired summit… the same summit that they had worked for and dreamed of… would remain out of reach.

I wasn’t bummed for my own summit aspirations. Over my 20+ year climbing career I have been turned around countless times due to unsafe conditions. I was accustomed to dealing with the “no summit blues”. All of the common axioms were a part of my long developed alpine mentation…
“The summit is optional but coming home is not.”
“The mountains make the music, we simply listen.”
“It’s about the journey…not the summit.”

And yes, all of this is true… but when I broke the news that we wouldn’t be able to summit, there was no cute little quote that would quell the disappointment the group clearly felt. As much as we had tried to frame up the possibility of not touching the summit, this was still a massive body blow to the group. Tears, frustration, disappointment. We all felt it. For many, it was just another one of the many obstacles that was keeping them from completing the ever-elusive “summit.”

Then the magic happened…
The team requested a participant only meeting… all the leaders were asked to step away.

Thirty minutes later we rejoined the team and listened to them request an opportunity to venture up, as a complete team to this high point… to go as high as they could… to lay eyes on this piece of unsafe terrain… to feel the power of the mountain and let it judge them for who they are… to conclude that they had done nothing wrong in this journey and to confirm that they had done everything right. It was just the mountain dishing up a shitty sixty feet of ice protected by a big ass moat.

Then I knew we had done our work. We had set the table appropriately. We had invited our guests and they had joined us for a lengthy feast. The appetizer was good… it whet our appetite and made us hungry for bigger things. The main course was delicious… we took in all of the miles and smiles and felt full. But alas there would be no desert…. the cake would not be served. We wanted to end on a sweet note but would instead have to reflect on the fact that our bellies and souls were full.
We had feasted.

The next day I began what would be a 2-day evacuation of one our participants that was sick as a dog and spiraling towards full kidney failure. He warriored through all 26 miles back to the trailhead on 1 foot, 1 prosthetic, a horse and a shit ton of grit and will.
That same day, September 11th, the rest of the team climbed up to my same high point, took a look at the bergschrund and 60ft of ice and said, “Yep, I get it. Don’t want any part of that.”  Although there was still disappointment within, the team had now faced that barrier, looked it square in the eye and said, “F You!!!”
I heard stories of how each of the team yelled out names of their friends, fellow warriors and family that had been lost or deeply effected by the events of that anniversary 14 years prior. Powerful to say the least.

My best bro and long time adventure partner, Erik was the founding father of No Barriers. From the beginning the tagline has always been “What’s Within You Is Stronger Than What’s In Your Way.” I know that’s true most of the time.

But sometimes 60ft of shitty, unsafe ice IS in your way. And it IS stronger than you. And it IS blocking you from reaching your desired summit. And it IS NOT moving.

This is a fact of life.

When we encounter these immovable objects, it’s critical to be resourceful, look for work-arounds and think outside the box. Then, once we have exhausted all alternatives we have to come to grips with it. It’s not that I’m OK with it. I just have to acknowledge it’s existence. It’s not going anywhere. But we are. Moving on. Setting our sights on the next summit… the next objective.

And so we climb on.